If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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