i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
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The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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