You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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