Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
