I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
