At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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