The maid of honor just puked.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
