I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
