Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
