I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
