I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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