Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
