he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We got so high we made milksteak
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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