$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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