i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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