he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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