I think i peed on brittanys purse
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
