he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just invented taco cereal.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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