i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
