He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize