so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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