"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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