i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
