i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
