I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
why is half of my head shaved?
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