is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
