Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
