dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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