YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
