it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
