So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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