They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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