East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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