hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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