okay pat passed out under dana's car
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
