Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
