I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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