I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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