You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
