The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
