Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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