I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
