I'm really into asian looking animals
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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