The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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