i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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