whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
