I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
