This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
