Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
