that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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