I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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