Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
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Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
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Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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