But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
