Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i wish my penis had a tongue
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
