I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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